I learned to do more punctuation so the sentences aren't to long and use more adjectives.
I achieved my goal because I used more adjectives to described my story and make it interesting.
Next time I will make my story interesting so the reader wants to read on.
I held my breath and helped my friend up of the ground.
I grabbed my silver gun and jumped into the disgusting water making a big splash.
I climbed the cliff and built a new trench because my old one got ruined from the poison gas.